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OH OH yes indeed I am back
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Posted:Feb 9, 2012 2:56 am
Last Updated:Aug 31, 2012 1:39 am
5619 Views
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Back again..
Feeling very random..mind racing ..just gotta roll with it..
I deserve a bonus..made it thru the first part of the week..with out stabbing anyone with a fork..
Decay is Beauty
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hhhhhmmmmm..
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Posted:Oct 26, 2011 2:43 am
Last Updated:Aug 7, 2012 11:55 pm
5189 Views
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I'm still around just taking care of me and my needs utterly selfish and all about me...
Beauty
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I can feel it happening..again
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Posted:Aug 14, 2011 8:13 pm
Last Updated:Aug 7, 2012 11:56 pm
5645 Views
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I have been doing so well the last few months..but this last week I have been feeling the black dogs nipping at my heels..been trying to stay one step ahead of them..all my emotions are close to the surface..mostly anger..frustration and the sadness which is the worst..and it is like I am holding my breath..
This battle can be so easy to fight sometimes..other times not so much..I have to type this out get it outta my head..not looking for sympathy by any means..venting mostly..
Anyway..thanks for reading my tiny vent
Beauty
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holy shit!!!
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Posted:Jul 5, 2011 12:18 am
Last Updated:Aug 10, 2012 10:21 am
5751 Views
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I have run into writers block..okay not quite just cant get what is in my head on to paper or text..It has been happening quite abit as of late..my poetry and writings are locked in my head..screaming to get out in some form..my camera is gathering dust..my creativity is not there..what has caused this to happen?..
I have asked this many times..need to get it back..back to my solace..
Beauty
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this morning was awesome!!!
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Posted:May 27, 2011 10:54 am
Last Updated:May 25, 2024 11:15 am
5453 Views
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I went with a friend to an ultrasound appointment this morning..and it was such an amazing moment for her..and I too felt that happiness..It was something I needed..I needed to once again appreciate life..And seeing a little tiny life kicking and moving around was such a beautiful thing for me to see..Once thank you for letting participate in a awesome occasion..
Life Is Beautiful!!!!
Beauty
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Quitting smoking....again
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Posted:May 23, 2011 12:05 am
Last Updated:Aug 7, 2011 9:06 pm
5625 Views
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I am quiting smoking again..and frankly this time is freaking brutal as hell..I am quite on edge..gnashing of teeth..haven't been textingor talking anyone at all or really want to be around people at this time..It is best I not socialize until...I have grip on this non smoking issues..
And in this process I am really beginning to like Dr.Peppper slurpees which is not a bad thing..saves me from ripping peoples heads of with my teeth..which would be very bad clean up after anyway LMAO..
Love each other..Love life..go try a Dr.Pepper slurpee..it does wonders ..
Beauty
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blah blah blah blah
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Posted:May 2, 2011 3:22 pm
Last Updated:May 25, 2024 11:15 am
5630 Views
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Today..I do not like people..why you ask?..why the f**K not!!!
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Disturbing to me..perhaps It may disturb you as well...
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Posted:Apr 23, 2011 4:12 pm
Last Updated:Aug 10, 2012 10:22 am
5960 Views
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I had a conversation with a fellow Affair Link'er recently and I could not believe what this person told me..
This person was talking to another person from this site..probably getting to know each other..chatting..laughing and such..as this a chat place to meet people for friends or playmates..part of that is talking about yourself and your wants/needs..
The subject that disturbs me is that the person was honest about an illness that they have and the other person just walked away from the conversation with out a good bye..never to be heard from again..
Why would a person do that to someone else..scared?..fear? or just rude?..judging that person by their illness before actually getting to know that person..
BTW..the person you did that to is great person who is funny..intelligent..amazing and cool to have as friend..
My thought for the day is......
Why do people judge others so harshly?
Beauty
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Damn Weather!!!
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Posted:Apr 21, 2011 1:35 am
Last Updated:May 25, 2024 11:15 am
5629 Views
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I am have been feeling all cranky and of of sorts..Im thinking it may be my med dosage..it was tweaked a little..no side effects yet..my body seems to be adjusting well to the increase..I am happy about that..battling the side effects is sometimes worse than the symptoms of your illness..well sometimes..
Springtime is a odd time of year for me..all this sunshine..the air smells different..the sky is cleared of the dark bleakness of the winter..I miss that the most..
I find darkness gives me certain sense of comfort...may it be music..poetry..art..I have tons of these things on my computer..notebooks..you all see the clean version when you read my blogs here..I vent elsewhere..I like to keep some of my life private..
Beauty
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My Motto
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Posted:Apr 15, 2011 1:57 am
Last Updated:May 1, 2011 6:47 pm
5754 Views
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Smile..Nod..tell em all..Fuck You!!!
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Lurking is what i do..
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Posted:Apr 11, 2011 11:48 pm
Last Updated:Aug 10, 2012 10:22 am
5865 Views
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Bi polar was being chatted about one afternoon in the chat room..and it made me think of the stigma of having a mental illness has not changed..which is difficult to understand considering it is now 2011..many changes have been made with medications..counselling..organizations and the openness of people who have a mental illness..
I have been open with my Bi Polar..I understand peoples feelings about it and I am not here to bash people because they don't understand or perhaps even fear it..I have talked to people about it..answered with educated answers as best as I can..but have felt the sting of people not understanding or wanting to know me..but I can not take that to heart..I'm not looking for sympathy or for someone to hold my hand and say everything will be okay..just sayin LMAO
I have no idea for the reason of me posting this..everyone has their own mind..opinions..beliefs..and that is the way we as humans are made..
I don't want anyone to take this personal..this is not my intention in anyway shape or form..
Love your yourself..Love your life..
Beauty
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It is so beautiful..
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Posted:Apr 11, 2011 3:43 pm
Last Updated:Apr 11, 2011 3:43 pm
5624 Views
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I was out and about today with a friend..and this weather is freaking nice..
I like being outside at night..not much for the day time at all..yes..I'm gonna say it..Daylight hours are okay..not saying I'm going to make a habit of going out there all the time..but hell even I will get some vitamin D once in awhile..
The sun can improve your moods..make you feel better..It's good for a person..
I am surprisingly chipper the last little while..still dark and brooding of course..and I just want to hug and smile at people (what the f**k is wrong with me??)..thats just crazy talk LMAO
Anyway..I hope everyone is having a wonderful day..don't let anyone get you down or make you feel bad about yourself..
Smile..nod..tell em F**k you!!!
Beauty (yes..I did just type all this silly happy sh*t..don't be scared
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To link to this blog (beauty_by_decay) use [blog beauty_by_decay] in your messages.
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