Damn!
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Posted:Oct 7, 2007 6:36 pm
Last Updated:Oct 9, 2007 6:29 am
16709 Views
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My ex and I are not really ex's, per se. Due to the crap that's she's in, it's damn near impossible for us to ever see each other, but we are allowed to see others (hint to all the cuties that want me).
Tomorrow, she's going away for a while. She, nor I know for how long. There will be next to zero communication with where she's headed.
Today just happened to be her 21st b-day. All that I wanted was to make it special for her. Lately we've been fighting about how little time she takes to see me. On one hand I understand that it's really not her fault, on the other, I just vent. Today, I did just that.
This morning I called her and got an answer. It was about 10. She said that she was still sleeping and was tired. I said no worries and just call me when you're up, etc...
After the Falcons lost their game (big surprise) I was kinda in a mood. I was also in a mood b/c I hadn't heard from her. I text her over and over again ranting about how I'm glad she called like she said she would and thanks for thinking of me before she goes away. She actually tried to call back twice, but I was so pissed I didn't answer.
After I cooled off, I tried to call her. Guess what? No answer. She wouldn't even answer a text and trust me when I say that I sent many.
So here I sit... I'm alone, mad at myself, and worried about what's going through her mind. I know that I messed up, but Life really throws curve balls at me and I don't always know how to swing at them. All I want is to hear her voice, tell her that I'm sorry and to forget about everything that I did to F this all up. More importantly, I just want to try and console her before she leaves, but she's shut her phone off.
Tomorrow is really going to suck for me. I know that she'll be gone in the morning. I know that I won't hear from her for who knows how long. I know that my anxiety will be through the roof. I know that she won't even tell me that she loves me... I know this.
This sucks!
~ AAS (always fucking up)
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3
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Black Widow
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Posted:Oct 7, 2007 7:08 am
Last Updated:Oct 9, 2007 6:29 am
16840 Views
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I'm really loving my house. It took a shit load of work to get it and I'm finding that cleaning it involves just a bit more than that of an apartment.
The thing about apartments is always that it's maintaned for you. If you have a broken, well, anything, it's fixed for you. Also too though, I forgot that they handle bugs and other undesirables for you.
This morning, I was trolling these very pages of naked, sex freaks, when I heard my go balistic over another and then... then I heard my smoker get tipped over. When I went outside my smoker and all its internal parts were strewed all over my back yard.
After correcting my for obviously trying to just piss me off, I proceeded to pick my smoker and contents up. I knew there had been a lot of webs on it, but I never really wanted to know what was behind the mini mansions. However, now I had to address it. As I start to reasemble the item, and while whiping the sticky houses off my hands and arms, I noticed a very large black spider with a red thingy on the back. After closing in about a nanometer closer, I realized my worst nightmare, a black widow!!
Now, I have to locate some kind of substance to spray outside my entire house! I have no idea what to look for, as I'm not sure they sell 'Black Widow Killer Extreme', but I'm sure there is something I can do...
~ AAS (not spiderman)
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4
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Bling? WTF??
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Posted:Sep 29, 2007 6:08 am
Last Updated:Oct 3, 2007 3:34 am
16548 Views
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Ok, so I admit to being an AAShole for not being here for a while, but wtf is bling? What is it, and more importantly why don't I have any? Do you have to blow someone to get some?? I'm soooo lost on this site now!!
~ AAS (lost as usual)
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Possibly a New One?? Oh No! Here We Go Again!
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Posted:Sep 29, 2007 5:41 am
Last Updated:Oct 5, 2007 4:28 am
16768 Views
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Just like I've said a trillion times (it's true... count it yourself) I think we learn things from every relationship that we're in.
Although my latest ex (RL ex) and I are no longer together, I think that the experience of me actually going through the entire hit on, pick up process with her, I actually gained some confidence. It doesn't hurt that she is twenty and I, well, am not twenty. That didn't hurt the self-esteem either!
I work for a company that is pretty well spread out. We have a few buildings in the area, but I have been fortunate enough to move to the highest traffic area. We have six buildings in on the same campus as ours. It really gives me more opportunity to check out the fine scenary, if you know what I mean.
As I started this week, I wasn't even thinking about hitting on anyone. I haven't had the heart to, nor have I had the time. Work has me running really hard lately. However, it happened. I was standing out in the courtyard enjoying an afternoon cigarette, minding my own business and I saw her. She was coming in from the parking deck, probably from lunch. I didn't think about hitting on her, but I had to enjoy the view she was showing.
This girl has long blonde hair and a really beautiful smile. As the three of you readers know, I've always been stuck on hard bodies. She's not hard, but she's, well, nice. I think it was her smile. She glanced at me. I stared at her. She smiled and walked into the building. It thought that it was at least nice to be glanced and smiled at (ya, I'm pretty easy).
On Tuesday, I saw her with a coworker in the courtyard smoking a fag. I stood fairly far from her, but she saw me and at least waved. I was blown away. I promised to myself that the next time I saw her that I would have to say something. I didn't see her again that day, or the day after either.
On Thursday, after my lunch, I was just about to walk back in, when I saw her coming from the parking lot. I tried not to look at her, but I could tell that she was walking in my general direction. As she got closer, I looked up and she redirected herself to me. I said hello and said something about the beautiful weather. I lit her cigarette for her and this is when it gets really good.
We stood there talking for the length of two complete cigarettes. We were gazing wantingly into each others eyes (just kidding, just thought I'd see if you were still reading). I really have no idea what we were talking about!! I was trying my best to make sure my head was up, chest up, nice body language, etc... She is about an inch taller than me, I think. I was worrying about that! It seems most women in Atlanta are all tall... It's either that, or I really am just short as hell. Let me digress.
We put our smokes out and walked together into the building. She was still telling me something about how she landed where she was in corporate america. We rode together up. She hit 4, and I 7. As we got to her floor, she said, "It was great getting to know you. Have a great day!" I said, "you too!". She started getting off the elevator and stopped. She turned around and asked, "What's your name?" I told her and she told me hers...
It may not be much to go on, but my gf coworker thinks it is. I hope she's right!
~ AAS
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And Back To The Story
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Posted:Sep 23, 2007 5:55 am
Last Updated:Sep 29, 2007 2:09 pm
16878 Views
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That night we fucked like rabbits. It wasn't love making by any means. It was raw, rough, and much needed release before we both drifted off to sleep, her in my arms and me happy that she was.
The next morning, when I got up, she had already taken all the trash out, made me coffee and had her things packed. I had work, and I knew she really had nowhere to go. I could tell she was tired, so I told her to go back to sleep and I would drop her off when I got home.
When I arrived home, she was relaxing on the couch. She got up and gave me a very nice smile. It felt good coming home to her. I asked her what she wanted for dinner and she looked confused. I could tell that she didn't know really what to say. We went to the store and I bought us more steaks. As I was cooking them, she was very attentive about getting me more beer when I was almost done. She was just so very attentive, polite, and just a breath of fresh air.
So that's really when this whole thing began. I never asked her to leave, she never asked to go, and we both will filling a void for each other.
As it stands now, due to a legal issue, she is forced to live with her sister. Her schedule is unbeilivable, and it's not convenient for either of us. We've not broken up, but we just can't see each other. It really sucks.
I'm not bitter about anything. I care about her and I know she does me, but we are not at the right place at the right time. She is allowed to play with others, as I am. I'm not sure our relationship is ever going to work out, but we've not had that talk as of yet anyway. This isn't, for some reason, one of those closure needs. I don't really need the closure because I'm sure things would be a lot different if we were allowed to live our lives like we had.
She is bisexual. She is allowed to play with others as well, but she's not done so. She basically told me to move on if I so chose to. In this particular case, I have to.
So here I am. I'm back trolling these pages in search of great sex. I'm not looking for a dating partner as I've realized that I DO have the ability to meet women in RL. That was the biggest ego boost I could've had and I needed it.
~ AAS
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4
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Where I left off...
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Posted:Sep 2, 2007 5:42 pm
Last Updated:Sep 29, 2007 4:15 am
17125 Views
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Ok, it was roughly the end of April, I think, that I last really told anything going on. Let me begin.
I was facing some pretty tough DUI charges. Although my attourney seemed to think things wouldn't be that bad, I just couldn't beleive him. It was around that time that I had to start DUI class. It's really nothing more than a way to tell everybody that they are alchoholics and charge them $300 to do so. I must admit that I learned at least one thing... I can't remember what it was, but it was eye-openening.
Also at that time, I had run into a little young girl (20 years old) at a bar that we both were regulars at. Actually, it was the same bar that I got my DUI from. I couldn't beleive that she actually seemed into me, but I was having fun, and I didn't rush anything... yet.
After the DUI class, I invited a dude from it over to have a cook out. I just got a new smoker and wanted to try it. He's always down for drinking and I didn't have to drive anywhere. My best friend, Fresh, came over as well. Right before the shindig started, the bar girl calls and wants to hang out. I invited her over, but she didn't have a car. I certainly wasn't about to drive over an hour to pick her up, but invited her over anyway. I told her she was welcome if she could find a ride. Half way through the night, she called and said she was about 5 mins away. I told her how to get here...
It was really nice being wanted. I remember no matter how crappy I felt about my upcoming court hearing that I was just happy that I actually did something right with this girl. I attracted her and she was into it. She was not only hot, but she was extremely attentive as well. As we partied, she cleaned up! I couldn't beleive it...
I will continue this on the next post...
~ AAS
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Whew, what a ride!
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Posted:Sep 2, 2007 7:48 am
Last Updated:Sep 6, 2007 3:59 am
17040 Views
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Ok my beutiful sex freaky people, I am back. I'm not sure it's a good thing, but I've decided to come back and dump my pathetic life's adventures onto this screen for you all to scrutinize.
I'm not going to put it all into this post, but will on posts to come.
See ya soon!
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4
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Vanilla Please!
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Posted:Apr 23, 2007 6:57 pm
Last Updated:Sep 2, 2007 2:12 pm
18744 Views
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Ok, I can't believe I've done it.
When I first joined this site, I did so b/c RL dating seemed impossible for me. I just wanted (needed) to get laid. While this has happened for me, it's not really what my overall goal seemed to be.
I've fallen in love online (shutup) too many times now. I have made some AWESOME friends and will remain that way with them, but even that doesn't seem enough at times. Am I capable of fucking and leaving it as that... just a fuck? Yes! However, I'm lacking in my next stage.
As some of you that know me are aware, I've just hurdled my next major goal. I have doubled my income in my career and I love life. Not only did I do that, but I bought a house. It's currently just me, and I've come to the conclusion that not only am I looking for more, I require - and deserve - more.
I'm not going to go anywhere, but I know that it's time for me to get serious about life again. I need a family some day. I need to quit looking for an easy fuck. I need to concentrate on possibly failing again by looking for somebody that not only wants to fuck me, but that of lay next to and hold me for a night.
My Boomerang Bitch was that lady... She would've had she been able to, but she has corrected the one that she's with. She lives too far away to actually make this her main priority! I DO know, however, that if he fucks up again, she's mine...
With all of this being said, I have joined another site. This site is just that of a dating site. I don't know how to eventually come out with how sexual I really am. I don't know how to eventually explain to her that threesomes are ok with me. This really is just a step back in time for me, but my belief is that I have to go out on a limb.
~ AAS (Doing what I need to do.)
PS - I will still casually fuck in the meantime.
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4
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Let Me Make a Point...
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Posted:Apr 15, 2007 8:05 pm
Last Updated:Apr 23, 2007 7:33 pm
17749 Views
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There is an extremely hot couple - more importantly female - that has written something that I would like to use as my point.
Look at that!! Told you she was hot. Anyway, I digress... I've been online 'friends' with her for a bit now. This time, it's not one of the usual AAS's fuckups where I hit on her, get all strung with emotions kind of friend, but truly being, well, friends. The reason why I'm posting this is b/c it proves something I've stated over and over again on here; Unless you've got the whole package, you don't stand a chance with the hotties.
In her latest post, But maybe I will be getting it soon, she makes a reference that she requires something along the lines of intelligence, being able to carry on a conversation, etc... However, the last part of the list was that he had a killer bod...
Part of my all-time problem is that I can be relatively insecure. I believe that I hit on every single part of her list, but the last one. With all of the guys here in Atlanta, I'm quite positive it doesn't matter that I've hit 9 out of 10 on her list. The fact is, there are a trillion dudes here that hit on all 10. I know that this is my problem and not their's, but it truly sucks to know that no matter how much I've improved in all aspects, I don't have that 'killer bod'. Therefore, dudes like me don't stand a chance. This truly is very depressing.
On the other hand, I'm trying to learn not to be soooo picky. I know that people say that you should never lower one's standards, but getting some is better than getting none, right??
She really is a very sweet, very attractive lady who is a blast to chat with. She has a very lucky husband and I feel that she truly is a good friend. This is by no means a rant about her, but it's a rant about my position, where I've come, and my current self-limitations that truly may never go away.
~ AAS (Still searching...)
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9
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Looking Back
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Posted:Apr 15, 2007 7:21 pm
Last Updated:Apr 23, 2007 7:32 pm
17150 Views
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I'm thinking back to the earlier part of my blog... It started out to be a positive thing and over time, it became more of a daily journal, encompassing good and bad things.
After reading some of my earlier 'shit', I've come to the conclusion that I can be one hell of an AAShole. I'm very sorry for some of the things I've said and done. I don't like to lose friends, and it seems I've lost enough.
The one thing that I can say is that I live fully. I dump all of my emotions into what I'm doing and who I'm doing it with. Although not all of these girls have been a face to face meeting, that dosn't recant the feelings involved when you start to feel for her.
I'm very glad to see my current blogging to be that of a fun thing again and not just a way to whine. I'm sure that I will continue to post about everything I feel, but I have a feeling that I need to be a LOT less specific about whom I'm dealing with in the future (assuming I can get another female to be interested).
~ AAS (taking note of my past, so as not to repeat mistakes)
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Travel
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Posted:Apr 14, 2007 9:06 pm
Last Updated:Apr 16, 2007 8:41 pm
17475 Views
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Have you ever met somebody, while traveling, that you hooked up with? I love to think that this is going to happen to me.
Now that I've started to travel, I constantly am looking around to find that one cute girl that I hope to sit next to on the plane... It has yet to happen, but I've only really traveled twice. On Wednesday, when I was waiting for the plane, there was a cute girl next to me. We started polite chatting and I couldn't help but flirt with her. She sat behind me on the plane, but we didn't get to chat. When I got off the plane, we chatted while we were waiting for our bags. As it ends up, she was moving there and was picked up by her husband.
I think that even if I don't meet one and have freaky plane sex, I'm having fun interacting with new people on a daily basis - out of the office. I am taking the opportunity as my time to 'get out there'. The small town that I live in is NOT the place to meet any single women. This just might be what I've been needing.
~ AAS
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Missouri
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Posted:Apr 11, 2007 10:06 pm
Last Updated:Apr 24, 2007 9:28 pm
17577 Views
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I have to be honest with you... this place istn't too bad.
I've met up with my people and they are cool!
My anxiety was under control. I bought a book today to keep me under control. The book actually took my mind away from me. I actually had a TON of fun when I did my job today!
I will fill this travel thing in later, but for now, I can say that I'm having fun!
~ AAS
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How Funny!
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Posted:Apr 9, 2007 7:48 pm
Last Updated:Apr 11, 2007 10:00 pm
17547 Views
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I had a 'girl' contact me recently - on here - that showed some 'interest' in me. I thought it was pretty cool. Although she was older, and neglected to show a photo, I returned her email.
Her 'lead in' to me basically said that she read my blog and she felt we had many things in common. She then stated that she noted that I was from Toronto, Ontario, Canada and asked me if I were from the 'Left side'. Being the honest AAS that I am, I stated no, that I was really quit conservative with the exception of 'social' affairs.
I knew that this would lead me to fucking my right hand again, but I could'nt help but being honest.
I have NO problem stating my stance on this administration and that of my political stance. The thing that I find funny, however, is that this married woman - who wants to remain 'descreet' - had the nerve to judge me b/c of my position on certain things. No offense, but this 'chick' had the nerve to change her mind on wanting to fuck me based on the fact that I'm different than her on a political basis.
Anyway, this was just funny to me... I find her now annoying and too dumb to even qualify to sleep with me even though she is 10 years my senior...
~ AAS (laughing at dumb 'chicks')
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To link to this blog (aascrompn) use [blog aascrompn] in your messages.
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