Happy Thanksgiving!
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Posted:Nov 23, 2006 8:39 am
Last Updated:Nov 23, 2006 10:56 pm
1942 Views
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Happy Thanksgiving to everyone, may you be with your loved ones today or at least someone that makes you smile!
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Women Are Evil By Nature
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Posted:Nov 20, 2006 11:08 pm
Last Updated:Nov 25, 2006 12:25 pm
1946 Views
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Women Are Evil By Nature... A woman went up to the bar in a quiet rural pub...
She gestured alluringly to the bartender who approached her immediately.
She seductively signaled that he should bring his face closer to hers. As he did, she gently caressed his full beard. "Are you the manager?" she asked, softly stroking his face with both hands. "Actually, no," he replied. "Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him," she said, running her hands beyond his beard and into his hair. "I'm afraid I can't," breathed the bartender.. "Is there anything I can do?" "Yes. I need for you to give him a message," she continued, running her forefinger across the bartender's lip and slyly popping a couple of her fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently. "What should I tell him?" the bartender managed to say. "Tell him," she whispered,
"There's no toilet paper, hand soap, or paper towels in the ladies room
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Fifty Dollars!!
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Posted:Nov 15, 2006 3:45 pm
Last Updated:Nov 20, 2006 11:08 pm
2028 Views
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Bill Clinton started jogging near his new home in Chappaqua New York. But on each run, he happened to jog past a standing on the same street corner, day after day. With some apprehension he would brace himself as he approached her for what was most certainly to follow. "Fifty dollars!" she would shout from the curb. "Five dollars!" fired back Clinton. This ritual between Bill and the continued for days. He'd run by and she'd yell, "Fifty dollars!" And he'd yell back, "Five dollars!" One day however, Hillary decided that she wanted to accompany her husband on his jog. As the jogging couple neared the problematic street corner, Bill realized the "pro" would bark her $50 offer and Hillary would wonder what he'd really been doing on all his past outings. He realized he should have a darn good explanation for the Junior Senator of New York. As they jogged into the turn that would take them past the corner, Bill became even more apprehensive than usual. Sure enough, there was the . Bill tried to avoid the 's eyes as she watched the pair jog past. Then, from the sidewalk, the yelled... "See what you get for five bucks?"
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BMW
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Posted:Nov 15, 2006 10:58 am
Last Updated:May 25, 2024 4:11 pm
1945 Views
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Tiger Woods drives his BMW into a petrol station in a remote part of the Irish countryside. The pump attendant, obviously knows nothing about golf, greets him in a typical Irish manner completely unaware of who the golfing pro is. "Top of the mornin' to yer, sir" says the attendant. Tiger nods a quick "hello" and bends forward to pick up the nozzle. As he does so, two tees fall out of his shirt pocket onto the ground. "What are those?, asks the attendant. "They're called tees" replies Tiger. "Well, what on the god's earth are dey for?" inquires the Irishman. "They're for resting my balls on when I'm driving", says Tiger. "Fook me", says the Irishman, "BMW thinks of everything."
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A late Halloween Story
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Posted:Nov 14, 2006 9:15 am
Last Updated:May 25, 2024 4:11 pm
2053 Views
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A cabbie picks up a Nun. She gets into the cab, and notices that the VERY handsome cab driver won't stop staring at her. She asks him why he is staring. He replies: "I have a question to ask you but I don't want to offend you.
She answers, "My , you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive."
"Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me."
She responds, "Well, let's see what we can do about that: #1, you have to be single and #2, you must be Catholic."
The cab driver is very excited and says, "Yes, I'm single and Catholic!"
"OK" the nun says. "Pull into the next alley."
The nun fulfills his fantasy with a kiss that would make a blush. But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying.
"My dear ," says the nun, "why are you crying?"
"Forgive me but I've sinned. I lied and I must confess, I'm married and I'm Jewish."
The nun says, "That's OK. My name is Kevin and I'm going to a Hal loween party."
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The Corn Hole from gm24you
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Posted:Nov 11, 2006 6:07 pm
Last Updated:Nov 13, 2006 11:22 pm
1963 Views
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So a cowboy goes up to an indian and said I'd like one of your squaws and the indian says how much money do you have.The cowboy said I don't have any money but I have some seed corn! The indian takes the corn and leads the cowboy to a tee-pee. Inside the squaw turns over and offers some butt and the cowboy asked for pussy. The squaw says thats the money hole, all you get is the corn hole!
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7 Kinds of Sex
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Posted:Nov 10, 2006 9:25 am
Last Updated:Nov 11, 2006 2:05 am
2002 Views
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The 1st kind of sex is called: Smurf Sex. This kind of sex happens when you first meet someone and you both have sex until you are blue in the face. >> The 2nd kind of sex is called: Kitchen Sex. This is when you have been with your partner for a short time and you are so horny you will have sex anywhere, even in the kitchen. >> The 3rd kind of sex is called: Bedroom Sex. This is when you have been with your partner for a long time. Your sex has gotten routine and you usually have sex only in your bedroom. >> The 4th kind of sex is called: Hallway Sex. This is when you have been with your partner for too long. When you pass each other in the hallway you both say "screw you". >> The 5th kind of sex is called: Courtroom Sex. This is when you cannot stand your wife/Hubby any more. She/He takes you to court and screws you in front of everyone. >> The 6th kind is called Religious Sex, which means you get Nun in the morning, Nun in the afternoon and Nun at night. >> OOPS. Don't forget the 7th kind of sex - Social Security Sex. You get a little each month. But not enough to live on! >>
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Pinch my nipples!
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Posted:Nov 2, 2006 12:26 pm
Last Updated:Nov 7, 2006 12:58 am
1935 Views
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>>>A middle-aged woman went to a Wal-Mart service >>>counter and tells the clerk she wants a refund for the toaster she >>>bought because it won't work. >>> >>>The clerk tells her that he can't give her a refund >>>because she bought it on 'special'. >>> >>>Suddenly, the woman throws her arms up in the air >>>and starts screaming! "PINCH MY NIPPLES! PINCH MY NIPPLES! >>>PINCH MY NIPPLES!!" >>> >>>The befuddled clerk ran away to get the store >>>manager in front of a growing crowd of customers. >>> >>>The manager goes to the woman and asks, "Ma'am >>>what's wrong?" She explained the problem with the toaster, and he >>>tells her that he can't give her a refund because she bought it on >>>special. >>> >>>Once again, the woman throws her arms up in the air >>>and starts screaming, "PINCH MY NIPPLES! PINCH MY NIPPLES! PINCH MY >>>NIPPLES!" >>> >>>And doing so draws an even HUGER crowd! In shock, >>>the store manager pleads, "Ma'am, why are you saying that? >>> >>>In a huff, the woman says, "BECAUSE, I LIKE TO HAVE >>>MY NIPPLES PINCHED WHEN I'M GETTING SCREWED!" >>> >>>The crowd broke into applause and her money was >>>quickly refunded!
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Who wears the pants?
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Posted:Nov 2, 2006 12:17 pm
Last Updated:May 25, 2024 4:11 pm
1959 Views
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Mike was going to be married to Karen, so his father sat him down for a little chat. He said, "Mike, let me tell you something. On my wedding night in our honeymoon suite I took off my pants, handed them to your mother, and said, 'Here - try these on.' She did and said, 'These are too big I can't wear them.'
I replied, 'Exactly. I wear the pants in this family and I always will.' Ever since that night we have never had any problems."
"Hmmm," said Mike. He thought that might be a good thing to try.
On his honeymoon, Mike took off his pants and said to Karen, "Here try these on." She tried them on and said, "These are too large. They don't fit me."
Mike said, "Exactly. I wear the pants in this family and I always will. I don't want you to ever forget that."
Then Karen took off her pants and handed them to Mike. She s aid, "Here you try on mine." He did and said, "I can't get into your pants."
Karen said, "Exactly. And if you don't change your smart-ass attitude, you never will."
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Make a stranger smile day
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Posted:Oct 28, 2006 10:43 am
Last Updated:Nov 11, 2006 11:59 pm
1970 Views
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I wanna try something new so today I'm gonna make a stranger smile and then tomm I will post what I did and what happened. Anyone want to join me?
Silky
Ok, I went over to my neighbors when I got home today and cleaned the snow off their car cause I knew they were going to church. I'm talking about an older couple, in their late 60's, well I got a call about 30 mins later from the man of the house. He thanked me politely for cleaning off the car and then asked If I would be joining them at church today because after the all night gallavanting that I had apparently been doing since I didnt come home, he was sure I could use some preaching for my injured soul!!!! Wow, If he only knew what I had witnessed the night before he would be camped on my front porch!
If others tried this, hope you had better luck then me, lol.
Silky
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Get to know your bloggers
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Posted:Oct 26, 2006 11:28 am
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2007 2:12 pm
2324 Views
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1. What time is it? 10:15 am
2. How did ya get your blog handle? I love to laugh
3. What do you fear most? Heights
4. What do you drive? 2005 Red F150
5. Have you ever seen a ghost? yes
6. In what state were you born? California
7. Ever been to Alaska? Yes, live here now.
8. Ever been toilet papering rolling? no
9. Croutons or Bacon bits? BB
10. Favorite day of the week? Sunday for football
11. Favorite restaurant . Sea Galley
12.Favorite Flower Honey Suckles
13. Favorite sport to watch: Football
14.Favorite Drink: Tequila Rose
15. Favorite Ice cream flavor: Butter Pecan
16. Disney or Warner Brothers: Disney
17. Favorite fast food restaurant: KFC
18. What color is your bedroom carpet? blue 19. How many times you failed your driver's test? none
20. Before this one, who's blog did you read? Lixxxxxxx
21. What do you do most often when you are bored? Depends on the time of the year
22. Bedtime: Am I alone or not?
23. Who will respond to this the quickest? Don't know.
24. Who is the person that you are most curious to see their responses: everyones
25. Favorite TV show? heroes
26. Ford or Chevy: ? Ford
27. What are you listening to right now? Jazz
28. What are your favorite colors? Red and black
29. How many tattoos do you have? none
30. Do you have any pets? two cockatiels
31. Which came first the chicken or the egg? who cares as long as someone cooks either for me
32. What would you like to accomplish before you die? Would like to win the Womens World Series of Poker tournament
34. How many people do you think will respond to this? not sure.
Now, here's what you're supposed to do...and please! Do not spoil the fun. Copy this as a comment delete my answers and type in your answers. Then Post this on your blog.Hopefully if all peeps play we will learn a lot of little known facts about those who are here.
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What are you?
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Posted:Oct 25, 2006 9:04 am
Last Updated:Oct 25, 2006 3:57 pm
1914 Views
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Two guys and a girl were sitting at a bar talking about their lives. The first guy said, "I'm a YUPPIE. You know, Young Urban Professional."
The second guy responded, "I'm a DINK. You know, Double Income No ."
They then asked the woman, "What are you?"
She replied: "I'm a WIFE. You know, Wash, Iron, Fuck, Etc."
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Surgeons
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Posted:Oct 24, 2006 9:42 am
Last Updated:Nov 11, 2006 11:59 pm
1920 Views
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Five Surgeons are discussing the types of people they like to operate on.
The first surgeon says: "I like to see accountants on my operating table, because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered." The second responds: "Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is color coded."
The third surgeon says: "No, I really think librarians are the best; everything inside them is in alphabetical order."
The fourth surgeon chimes in: "You know, I like construction workers...those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over."
But the fifth surgeon shut them all up when he observed: "You're all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There's no guts, no heart, no balls, no brains and no spine. Plus, the head and the ass are interchangeable."
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To link to this blog (Silky99654) use [blog Silky99654] in your messages.
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