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Blogs > wickedeasy > wicked and that ain't so easy |
naturally curly hair
naturally curly hair When you are fifteen, everything is so much more important. I would sleep with an orange juice can on my head with the rest of my hair clipped around my skull just so that I could have straightish hair but if I woke up to raining, I would curse, pull my already curling hair into pig tails and looking all of 12, mope my skinny, no breast self out the door, sure that life would never, ever be easy, wishing I was blond, buxom and two inches shorter. I was one of 4 should have been 5 second oldest, wicked smart head in a book, dazed with words, out of my skin with desire, looking for trouble, terrified that I’d find it. My best friend kept me close to the angels, but my second-best friend showed me the dark side, the battle for my soul was in full swing that year, leaving me breathless, agitated, manic. Mama shooed me out of the house most days, my energy too much for her to bear unless I was reading, my grotty bike the noble on which I rode off to find…..I don’t know……..something, someone, approbation. I would ride and ride through neighborhoods I didn’t know. This day I was riding by the Mystics, feeling the cars shoosh past me, my hair the most perfect hair it had ever been, sweeping silkily back in the wind., feeling beautiful, strong, alive. More than one bunch of boys shouted at me, and I the fierce warrior goddess ignored them all, filled with such power, such a joyous send of who I was. As the day wore on, I turned for home, pulling off the road to add a sweatshirt. A car with 4 boys pulled in, the whole area was now in shadow, my power suddenly gone, my heart pounding There is no need for me to tell you what happened. It’s happened to so many of us, it’s almost tangential. Instead I will tell you of the things that seemed to matter to me most. The birds stopped singing. After, I walked into the lake, not sure if I would walk out but I did. One more thing. One more thing. I pedaled the whole way home standing up. I was almost late for dinner. My sister pulled a stick out of my hair at dinner. later she drew a bath for me. later still she slept with me. We never told my mom and dad. I finally got my first period nearly 18 months later. I became incredibly promiscuous, mean as a snake, and immensely popular. My best friend stayed my best friend. I let my hair curl. You cannot conceive the many without the one. |
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four against one I felt pretty that day, until I didn't You cannot conceive the many without the one.
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10/13/2018 1:12 pm |
Hmmmmm. Interesting. Not sure I get it tho
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That is appalling. It is simply disgusting that "men" can be so ferral and depraved. I am sorry that it happened and sorry still that an event long ago still casts a long shadow over you.
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i hope that sharing helps ease the burden...even if just a smidgen.. woop woop
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10/13/2018 1:51 pm |
holy hanna I am sorry ..wish I could take all of that hurt away and I am not a vengeful person but when it comes to injustices done to others my bear comes out of hiding...don't know what else to say except for remember one thing.. " what goes around comes around " and stand back and watch...
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I'm a really peaceful individual these days. But it's things like that that remind me that I do believe some people shouldn't be breathing the same air as the rest of humanity. Sorry for your pain. I'm sure it's always there..but remember you're the strong one for having survived and continuing your journey. Peace. " I refuse to belong to any organization that would accept me as a member" Groucho Marx
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You have a special talent, as you have written about something so horrific that changed your life in so many ways they can't be counted, in such a beautiful yet mournful way. I wonder, what would have happened to that straight-haired girl, if those boys hadn't found her? What would she have done with her life? What experiences would she have had. How long would her innocence have lasted - before it was ripped away from her, without her consent? This helped to make you who you are now. But what if YOU had been left to decide that, on your own? What if YOU had made each decision in your life, from then to now, willingly? What if you had the power then, that you have now? Thank you for sharing this. I am in awe. You are what a powerful and strong woman looks like. Check out my profile or and become a "watcher" of my blog FMAOPLS,to learn more about me, and for intelligent, lively, smartassy and fun discussion, with a little irreverence thrown in. "Like" or comment on my photos, and I promise I'll add more. Thanks.
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I had perfectly straight hair. No twigs, no curls. Ah I remember it well - but I am a Capricorn, ruled by the knees and we never go back down that hill. My savior was black poetry and woman in the Dunes. (Virtual Symposium Group) use Virtual Symposium Group
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Thought of you, and this post, when I saw this on FB. Check out my profile or and become a "watcher" of my blog FMAOPLS,to learn more about me, and for intelligent, lively, smartassy and fun discussion, with a little irreverence thrown in. "Like" or comment on my photos, and I promise I'll add more. Thanks.
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I am so sorry that happened to you my friend, and you know there is an old saying what doesn't kill us only makes us stronger. Thank you for sharing this part of your life with us..
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I did not see that coming. Like the punch that got Houdini. Your writing is incredibly good. I'm glad that you walked out of the lake.
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This made me so angry and sad all at the same time. Thanks for telling your story. I think it's important to do that.
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There really are no words that I can offer that would take away that pain. So here's just a simple hug. Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation bangs on the door forever!
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Ahh Margie. Again your words render me painfully silent. Thank you.
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I have no words. I'm filled with emotions, but no words. You amaze me. Your strength has always been inspiring. That this horrific event brought out that strength and eventually gave you your life's purpose, to help others...I'm in awe while my heart breaks for the girl who hated her curly hair. Hugs to you. "Sometimes the most productive thing you can do is relax." – Mark Black
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Maybe I'm being a Pollyanna but I feel like if women tell their stories like this, men might re-think reactions like, "Why didn't she tell anybody at the time?" Maybe not though. At any rate, as always this was beautifully written.
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10/14/2018 11:40 am |
A beautiful early summer day then a tornado whips in and all I can say is goddamn; I'm so sorry.
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My wonder is always at what women can endure and still come out strong, loving and kind. My wonder always is that women are not forever put off sex, put off men, although I know that some are. I asked my wife these questions and she said "Why shouldn't I have that? Why should I let them take that from me.?" I marvel at her, and at you. I love you both. Become a member now and get a free tote bag.
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To them, it was probably nothing. I love you. I'm so sorry. Age cannot wither her, nor custom stale Her infinite variety. Other women cloy The appetites they feed, but she makes hungry Where most she satisfies. For vilest things Become themselves in her, that the holy priests Bless her when she is riggish. ~~ from Antony & Cleopatra
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Great Post wicked. I remember those curling rolls too. Your an amazing women. Why didn’t she tell anyone. Who knows. Hugs V Become a blog watcher sweet_vm
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Wow, didn't see that coming at all. All I can say is "Wow". I was just thinking the other day sexual crimes happen more often than you think. Not as horrendous and traumatic as this incident. But most, if not all women, have experienced some type of sexual misdeed. And some men too.
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10/29/2018 8:41 pm |
You have such fabulous and painful words. It's amazing how such simplicity can touch so deep.
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In reading your post I thought of the quote- Brevity, the soul of wit. No one will ever accuse me of wittiness. Ha! I'm glad you're back. I came back today in my usual wordiness. kk The observant make the best lovers, I may not do right, but I do write, I have bliss, joy, and happiness in my life, Kitkat Come check out my blog KItkat1415 check out this post by me Adventures In Body Grooming #39 April Topic Link: What Lies Beneath If April Showers Oh Bloody Hell What Kind Of Weather Turns Me On Bloggers Symposium 40
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So Sorry, glad you were able to get through!
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