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A Confession
A Confession In Keithcancook 's keithcancook , I made a comment about "paste on a mouthfull of veneers and call me Barbie" Well, I'm not going to get a mouthfull but I am going to get two, the rest will be bleached to match. Right now in anticipation of the rest of the teeth eventually matching,I have one very white tooth in front, a crown. You wouldn't even notice it if I hadn't said something. While there is an element of vanity in this, I do need them as the front tooth has been slightly worn down. I have been very self consious about smiling for quite a while and in my job it's important to be confident about one's appearance. So there's my big confession. That and I've spent the night in jail. Twice. Now, what did YOU do? Boogers in the husband's food? Wanking to a photo of Abe Lincoln? Come on, tell. ........................................... |
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OO,OO, I've got another one. I bought a pie at the orchard yesterday. I've already eaten half.
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Is there an echo in here? BTW, the booger in the food thing might come in handy, thanks! Have tongue, will use it. Repeatedly.
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8/4/2005 8:44 pm |
A confession from me? Well I hated my english teacher, so I light an outhouse on fire in their yard on halloween. I put a dummy in the out house too. I once saw this guy put money in a soda machine and not get a soda. I knew if you hit it a certain way you get the money back, and never told him, then took the money and got myself a soda. I once killed a rock Chuck with a homemade musket I once shot a duck and a chicken with a home made bow and arrow I once pooped in a worthless teachers chair I put cow crap in a kids lunch once, and he ate it I dialed a 1 900 sex number on this stupid guys phone, and left it off the hook flattened tires on the school bus I have done mane many many phone pranks before caller id of course I soaked the girls locker room tampon dispenser I called a church playign a mentally disabled person, and got offered a job, no I did not show up and take it. I put a dead deer head on a saw horse and placed in in the road, and laughed as people stopped for it Well this is soem of the stuff I done..
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8/5/2005 2:45 am |
I once put the name of a really annoying guy on 50 of those 'free trial subscription' cards. One of my brothers had a jar of coins - I stole all of the quarters and filled the space with nickels. I committed perjury while testifying before Congress. I wrapped everything in my manager's cubicle with shrinkwrap.
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this is the confessional, I will not comment, this is the confessional, I will not comment, this is the confessional, I will not comment.
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8/5/2005 8:04 am |
*makes notes*...."boogers in husbands food*
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8/5/2005 12:55 pm |
Uhhh…confessions? Uhhhhh, ummmm well…Uhhh I had sex with someone today and it wasn’t my husband. That was more fun then picking my nose
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I once told an annoying little boy that I peed in the lake so he would go play somewhere else.
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8/5/2005 3:17 pm |
hmmm…. confessions…. I used to open the door of my car and prop it open with my foot. Then I’d drive down the highway and use the open door to knock down miles of construction road cones. I used to steal salt peter from the high school chemistry lab and used it to make “boom putty.” If the salt peter was too old to use for my special play dough, I put it in the parmesan cheese shakers at the local pizza joint and waited for some sucker to sprinkle some on his pizza. (salt peter tastes terrible, and makes a man temporarily impotent.) They often returned the entire pizza, never thinking of the “cheese,” and a waitress I knew would bring me the left-overs instead of throwing them out. I used to siphon gas out of my neighbors’ cars to make Molotov cocktails. I used to hate one fraternity, and they were trying to remodel an old house to make it their new frat house, and I kept breaking in and stealing the building permits and power cords to slow them down. I stole a mustang convertible one time, drove it all night, and left it back in the guy’s yard with no gas in the tank. Left a note that said “Take the keys out of the switch after you get back from the gas station.” In Munich, Germany, I picked a fight with two German guys and got all three of us arrested so my buddies could hook up with the Australian women that were with the Germans. I demolished a bar in Thailand once. …. there’s more, but I think I’ve incriminated myself enough….
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I want to comment SO MUCH.
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8/6/2005 7:22 am |
one more: I once had a boss who was a total jerk. I broke into the office one night and looked up his address and personal info. I subscribed him to a few gay porn and fetish magazines and ordered him a couple butt plugs and nipple clamps. Then I dropped a change of address form at the post office and had all his mail redirected to his parents' house.
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LMAO major! Um, y'all have done some terrible things. Terrible. I on the other hand have always been a good lad. Y'all are all gonna burn in hell.
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When I find grocery lists left in carts I like to imagine what that persons life is like
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mmmm,never hurt or killed anything i locked my history tacher in the closet as she was a cow and had claustrophobia,oops,dention for that one and a letter home. Screwed around too often and not with hubby Signed dads signature far too often at school ,; dye my hair to cover up the ten grey ones always manage to lie to Dad so my sister got into trouble, thats about it i think
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Replaced the water in bosses bong with urine...... oh, and there was that Abe Lincoln thing....Hey now!
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8/6/2005 10:54 pm |
Made chocolate chip ex lax cookies for my brother and his annoying friend Got my car impounded after leaving it on a street that wasnt ok to have it parked in the morning..after i left on a romantic tryst the previous night Opened up my car door, barfed while still driving and continued along Had my hair dye experiement turn it lavender Clipped the construction road cones with the corner of my left bumper Pissed in a guys beer (hey he wasnt being nice) Flashed my boobs off the VIP balcony at the house of blues on sunset strip Told the star of the practice MCdermott? To go piss in a bush and I had to go pee worse. Crapped in a heroin models chanel handbag
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8/7/2005 8:46 am |
You're the cutest jailbird I ever did see.
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8/7/2005 8:50 am |
From sixth grade on, I never ate lunch at school. I pocketed my lunch money instead. I never got caught. I changed a D on a report card to a B. I got caught. I killed a baby bird with a BB gun. It was an accident. I gave away my BB gun after that.
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Other than having a few affairs, I have not done anything bad! Used a few drugs in high school, but that is normal kid stuff. Not into vadalism or dumb rebellion stuff.
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8/9/2005 6:18 pm |
On a Friday night, put a sack of dog crap on this mean old guy's porch, lit it on fire, rang the doorbell and ran ... he stomped it out. Found out at school on Monday he'd had a mild heart attack over the weekend. Used to sell excuse notes in high school because I can copy anyone's handwriting. Missed 56 of 180 days of school my senior year "due to menstrual cramps." During very heated arguments, I would clean the toilet with hubby's toothbrush, then put it back in the holder for him to use the next time. Other than that - I plead the 5th. "Lil"
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I have had an affair with a married man. Now and then I still see him.
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8/27/2005 2:12 pm |
When the drinking laws were much stricter around here, we had to sign a form to buy beer/liquor. I signed mine "Karl Marx, Red Square," or "John F. Kennedy, Washington, D.C." a few times, and the clerk in the store never noticed! I think I was underage at the time, too. This was long time ago.
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