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How to make a great impression on your first AFF meeting
How to make a great impression on your first AFF meeting I've been off and on Affair Link for years and have followed peoples' blogs about their sex lives. I recently decided to join in the fun and share some of my perspectives on sex, Affair Link and anything else that I can think of. I hope you enjoy what I have to share. For my first blog I'd like to offer some tips to guys who want to make a great impression when they meet someone on Affair Link for the first time. So many men completely flop the first date and this spoils their chances. It may seem that woman on here have it easy and are too quick to change our minds once we've met a guy but in all honesty, when we meet for a drink, we've already made up our minds that we're ready for sex. If it doesn't happen, it usually means the guy crossed a line somewhere and today's blog is to help men be more successful in wooing their dates into bed. #1. Don't rush us to meet up at a motel or your place. That's too scary and way too forward. Meeting in a bar for a drink is a great way to start. When we're meeting a guy for the first time, we're almost overcome by doubts about whether or not we should be doing this or will we regret the date if we do jump into bed with him or even maybe Affair Link was a big mistake in the first place. Meeting in a bar feels like a normal date and is a very comfortable situation. There's nothing improper about meeting for drinks and seeing if you click. #2. Don't talk about your ex girlfriend, other girls you're sleeping with or even your current wife or girlfriend if you have one. Nothing is a bigger turn off than being told we remind you of someone else or we're prettier or sexier than that other girl you were just with. #3. Read the signals your date gives you to indicate she's open to sleeping with you. I generally know in 15 minutes if I'm comfortable enough to sleep with a guy I just met. Once I've made up my mind, all I can do is flirt, laugh at his jokes and maybe make a few comments to suggest I'm interested. I've had a lot of Affair Link dates where I'm ready but the guy fails to pick up on the hints. After an hour or so, I usually give up and that door sort of closes for the guy. Then it's a frustrating night for the both of us. Be prepared that your date may decide she doesn't want to sleep with you and pick up on her signals. When I decide not to I usually stop talking and just listen. I've been told I stop smiling but I consider this impolite and don't do this on purpose. Once you figure out she's not interested, don't keep trying. Most women won't change their mind and the date really becomes an unpleasant chore. #4. Know where you're going to have sex. I've agreed to sex many times only to be told the guy has a roommate and he clearly isn't going to pay for a hotel room. It gets worse when he suggests we do it in the car. I have enjoyed car sex but usually once I am into the guy and we're on our 20th date. If you can't provide a place to actually have sex, you're both probably going to go without. #5. Pick a place to meet that neither of you go to often. You don't want to have the local waitress talking about your last Affair Link date when you show up with your friends a few days later. #6. Take time to just talk casually about romantic relationships without getting too graphic in public. It always seems when someone says "Affair Link" or "sex" in public, everyone in the bar probably heard him and that's embarrassing. The conversation is a way to build up how you communicate so when you're alone you both feel comfortable sharing what you like or what you'd like your new partner to do sexually. I'll add to this list in future postings. Thanks for reading! |
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well thought out and well written Be safe, relax and just have fun!
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Quoting SexySweet1111 "I generally know in 15 minutes if I'm comfortable enough to sleep with a guy I just met. " If I had read this when I first joined dating sites I would have been critical of the 15minute evaluation for being too brief and hasty, but now that I am more experienced I will agree with you. If it is a definite 'yes, I will sleep with you' it really only takes 15mins to get to that response. And yet, I have met people in 'normal' circumstances [that is, not vetted from dating sites] where it took longer, weeks or months, to get to know them and then feel the urge to sleep with them. It seems to me there are two separate evaluation systems at work in our head, one for normal social circumstances, and another for dating sites.
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Great Blog posting!
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For guys who don't pick up on the hints (some of us are body language deaf), if she doesn't kiss you on the first meet n greet - ain't gonna happen.
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[quoting you]: So many men completely flop the first date and this spoils their chances.....Never convey to the guy, the first meeting is a date. That puts too much pressure on both of you. A first meeting is just an interview, and really shouldn't need to take more than 30 minutes to one hour. we've already made up our minds that we're ready for sex. ...... Then don't tell him [nor agree] you'll meet him for drinks... or anything else. Just agree to a meeting. This concept of drinks and food being required needs to stop. #1. Don't rush us to meet up at a motel or your place. ... Don't agree to meet in a bar, either. Choose a buys social spot, where you can hear each other, and relax. You're only meeting for about one hour....Places to meet for the meeting/interview: Hotel lobbies, there are usually chairs where you can sit and talk.... Museums; walk around and talk. ......Parks; take a walk and talk ...Malls; they usually have chairs here and there where you can sit back and talk. Meeting in a bar feels like a normal date and is a very comfortable situation. ... But this isn't a date. It's an introduction..and you don't want to get a buzz on. #2. Don't talk about your ex girlfriend, other girls you're sleeping with or even your current wife or girlfriend if you have one. .... Yes, don't. But if the woman asks you if you're seeing anyone, just say you are dating. Dating is not exclusive, not a commitment to anyone. The male should never say, "Women don't want to go out with me", he should never say, "I can't find the right women". #3. Read the signals your date gives you to indicate she's open to sleeping with you. ....No..Just tell him you want to have sex with him.....My generation would be good at that reading you, however the boys you would be dating? No... mostly raised by moms who never told them anything about getting laid or how to get laid. I generally know in 15 minutes if I'm comfortable enough to sleep with a guy I just met. .... Yes, usually closer to within 10 minutes.. or if you're really good at it.... within 10 seconds. Once I've made up my mind, all I can do is flirt, laugh at his jokes and maybe make a few comments to suggest I'm interested. ...Nice, but just tell him you want to have sex now. If you can't do that, then probably you really don't want to have sex with him. I've had a lot of Affair Link dates where I'm ready but the guy fails to pick up on the hints. .... No... "Hinting" doesn't cut it. Especially with the boys you may be going out to meet with. After an hour or so, I usually give up and that door sort of closes for the guy. Then it's a frustrating night for the both of us..... This is why the first meeting should not be more than one hour. The next time you get together? That is generally considered a "Date"... and when it is a "Date" there should be sex involved. Going to the movies and getting something to eat, is just hanging out.... not a date. Don't do this too much. You're not looking to be friends first, you are looking for sexual cravings. He, or you, [better it be him] should make a sex move/suggestion within 3 or less times getting together. If that doesn't happen... walk away. Go find someone else. Be prepared that your date may decide she doesn't want to sleep with you and pick up on her signals..... No... just tell him, "This is not going to work", and excuse yourself, walk away. Easier for both of you. Once you figure out she's not interested, don't keep trying. ...When SHE figures out she's not interested, she needs to walk away. Most women won't change their mind and the date really becomes an unpleasant chore. ... If you don't walk away, he is obligated to change your mind. You're not saying , "No". #4. Know where you're going to have sex. ..... Absolutely... he should always have a plan. and he clearly isn't going to pay for a hotel room. .... You both can pay for the hotel room. Sex is something you both want to have. You both can pitch in on providing a suitable place. #5. Pick a place to meet that neither of you go to often...... Normally I would agree with you, but we're talking about meeting someone from the internet, not someone you've seen around the campus. So meeting somewhere , where people know of you, who could recollect who you might be , is always a good idea for a first meeting , too.... So if you were to meet in the hotel lobby, or museum, or park , or mall be sure to make yourself memorable in those places.... for instance you meet in hotel lobby, you might want to tell the desk attendant that you are meeting someone from a dating site, and to keep an eye on you , for safety. You don't want to have the local waitress talking about your last Affair Link date ... Or you do. Think in terms of safety. Being safe. Get over any possible embarrassment you might have. #6. Take time to just talk casually about romantic relationships without getting too graphic in public. ... No... Better to avoid any topics of romance, especially at a first meeting. You , or he, may only want to have a one-time-sex fling. You can both talk about sex without mentioning romantic relationships. ========================= That's my take on your comments.
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