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Sex versus intimacy
Sex versus intimacy Man confused! Men and women use words differently, it seems. A woman states on her profile she seeks, love and intimacy. She asks me what I want. I say good conversation, fun, intimacy and sex. She says not interested in sex here. OK, I thought intimacy was a euphemism for sex. Apparently not. What is non sexual intimacy like? Like Joan of Arc? Platonic love? Religious orgasm? I remain confused and not in touch, apparently. |
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Like BigLala said. Intimacy doesn't mean sex. You can have a intimate dinner. Doesn't mean when the waiter picks up the plates you have sex on the table. You can have a intimate walk , a intimate conversation. Sure it can lead to having sex, but it doesn't mean it always does. Just saying. " I refuse to belong to any organization that would accept me as a member" Groucho Marx
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I wouldn't use the word "discouraged", but Affair Link just seems to live in the fantasy world where intimacy that is NOT sexual doesn't exist. Just like they live in the fantasy world where any guy who has a few $$$ to spare and buys a membership, and will get laid, just because he wants it. And the world where being approached by a "bot" means that someone is going to "get lucky". I would say that is is not "acknowledged or encouraged". It's just treated as if it doesn't even exist. Unfortunately, playing ignorant does not make it go away. WHO has discouraged it? Site management? Bloggers? Members you have interacted with? Members in general? 1 example I noticed today, is that when you use the "Search" feature, and choose "Browse", it allows you to check out all the members in a particular US State or Canadian Province. But the choices of relationship are so limited, that they do not even list anything non-sexual. Those who wear blinders may be totally ignorant of something that comes at them from the side. That doesn't mean they will not be run over by the train coming at them. In this case, Ignorance Is Not Bliss. I agree with BigLaLa's and PlatosGames' take on the situation. Check out my profile or and become a "watcher" of my blog FMAOPLS,to learn more about me, and for intelligent, lively, smartassy and fun discussion, with a little irreverence thrown in. "Like" or comment on my photos, and I promise I'll add more. Thanks.
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OK, Affair Link promotes hook ups and find sex, above relationships. So if I was looking for non sexual intimacy Match or eharmony would seem a better choice. A heterosexual male person who did not take a vow of celibacy would expect close intimacy would lead to a sexual relationship in the world I come from. Reminds me of the old Broadway show, No sex please, we're British....
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I said sex as an objective to make sure my possible partner understands that I think sex is important. If you don't think sex is important, then you are not a good match for me. Glad we got that clear.
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My point is if you want intimacy without sex this may not be the best site for that quest. I think a profile should make clear that sex has been ruled out, if that is the case. I have seen a number of profiles that so state. Fine, fair warning and not a potential love connection... I am not interested in trying to convert a celibate into a voluptuary. I seek the sex fiend instead.
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The woman in a message to me asked what I wanted in a partner. I said a number of things in response, including sex. I like intimacy and sex in a partner.
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I once read a funny observation: Men give love to get sex, women give sex to get love. A stereotype, but there is a kernel of truth in this gender role stereotype, in my experience. Perhaps a better phrasing is that more men generously offer sex to women, while not being as generous with their emotions, while some women are known to become attached and feel emotionally close with their sex partners... Samantha on "Sex in the City" was famous for having sex like a man, nsa without a desire for a close relationship involving feelings.... Noteworthy as unusual.
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