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Share A Joke.
Share A Joke. Think it would be fun to share some of our jokes with each other. Here is one of mine, hope you will share to, kisses Faye. Two 90 year olds had been dating for a while, when the man told the woman, "Well, tonight's the night we have sex!" And so they did. As they are lying in bed afterward, the man thinks to himself, "My God, if I knew she was a virgin, I would have been much more gentle with her!" And the woman was thinking to herself, "My God, if I knew the old geezer could actually get it up, I would have taken off my panty hose!" |
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One day a construction worker left the job a little early, and when he got home he found his wife in bed with another man. Purple with rage, he hauled the man down the stairs and into the garage where he proceeded to secure his dick in a vice. Utterly terrified, the man screamed, "Stop, stop! you're not going to cut it off, are you? ARE YOU?" "Nope," replied the construction worker, "You are...I'm going to set the garage on fire."
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A woman answers the door to a market researcher. "Good morning madam, I'm doing some research for Vaseline. Do you use it at all in your household?" "Oh yes, all the time. It's very good for cuts, grazes and burns." "Do you use it for anything else?" "Like what?" "Ahem.. err.. well.. during.. ahem.. sex." "Oh, of course. Yes, I smear it on the bedroom doorknob to keep my husband out!"
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11/13/2012 6:51 pm |
A bald man with a peg leg gets invited to a costume party. Being shy and self-conscious about his appearance, he goes to the best costume shop in town. When he gets there, he tells the shop owner his situation and that he would rather cover his head and leg with a costume instead instead of exploiting his apparent problems. So, the shop owner comes back with a lifeguard costume. The man says, "No, no. That will show off my peg leg. I can't hide it with that. Try again." So the shop owner leaves and comes back with a monk costume And again the man says, "No, no. I can't wear that. It will make people notice my head." Obviously pissed off, the shop owner leaves and comes back with a five-pound bag of caramels, gives it to the man and says, "Here. Just take this." Confused, the man says, "What am I supposed to do with a bag of caramels?" Smiling, the shop owner says, "Take home this bag of caramels, melt them, pour it all over your body, stick that peg leg up your arse and tell everyone you're a caramel apple."
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11/13/2012 6:58 pm |
one more: Purchases from the internet can turn out to be disastrous. Jeremy bought a p*nis enhancer for $ 100. He received a handheld magnifier with the instruction, "Not to be used in sunlight."
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Male Thinking ~ A woman had been in a coma for months when one day the Nurses were in her room giving her a sponge bath... One of them was washing her private area and noticed that there was a slight response on the monitor when she touched her... They tried it again and sure enough there was a small, recognizable movement... They went to her husband and explained what happened, telling him, "As crazy as this sounds, maybe a little oral sex will do the trick and bring her out of the coma..." The husband was skeptical, but they assured him that they'd close the curtains for privacy… The husband finally agreed and went into his wife's room... After a few minutes the woman's monitor flat lined, no pulse, no heart rate... The nurses ran back into the room... "What happened?" they cried... The husband said, "I'm not sure, maybe she choked".
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12/6/2012 8:57 am |
Merry Christmas
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