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BDSM versus Domination submission
BDSM versus Domination submission This post is only viewable by Affair Link members. Join Affair Link now! |
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6/29/2010 8:14 am |
i m interested as i never tried it..can i have ur contact # in jakarta? email??* and i will be in jakarta on 10jul
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7/1/2010 1:25 am |
we find that very exciting too. We will be in Bali in August would you like us to join you. from challenge
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7/5/2010 1:56 pm |
Hi I agree. Let me know if you need another cock to serve you
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Interesting perspective I've been experimenting with ds and bdsm since a Korean girlfriend asked me to tie her up - though the interest was much older - allways turned on by those pre raphelite images of the chained princess etc - but said she did not like pain. Have also had slaves who craved physical light punishment - talking with a girl who seems to want serious pain. I enjoy dominating but don't - so far but it's a concern not to fall into that - enjoy I flicti g pain for it's own sake - however the willingness of the slave to take and acept punishment aand indead yo thank and beg for more if required s a sign of subjugation is certainly a turn on. Do you not find that? On the other hand a girl who is eager to be punished for it's own sake is not submitting and hence less interesting. That siad - I preffer my girls to enjoy their experiance so when they do find punishment stimating I prefer to stay inside that envelope most of the time. There is an Interesting blog in alt I donesia where a sub explians the hormonal reasons why she fnds pain linked with forced orgasm pleasurable - good to know there is lhsiological basis at least. But why do we get such a kick out of the ds element ... Any theories?
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Interesting comments - thanks. As we explore Ds we are finding that actually there is an inherent conflict within which gets revealed in Domination submission. On the one hand there is an erotic template of having power over another - power which is expressed by "using" the other sexually. On the other hand, there is a sense of wanting respect and equality for all. As a result of this apparant conflict, we find that we are only interested in Domination which is clearly enjoyed by the sub. So what happens if the sub enjoys (or as you said) begs for pain? Physically hurting another just seems a step too far for us somehow. Luckily for us neither of us likes pain. If we had to choose between our erotic kink or mutual well being, we would choose mutual well being every time. And this raises an interesting question.... If the Dom's power is limited to what the sub actually enjoys, then who actually is in control? A Dom without a willing sub becomes...well just a frustrated bully
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For us there is a lot of eroticism to be found in the roles of Dominant and submissive - Top and bottom - Master and slave etc etc. We like the role play of this..the feelings of power exchange, the costumes, the scenes. But we are NOT into pain. In fact, this type of surrender can lead to a deep tenderness - and also a lot of very erotic feelings. I too find D/s to be quite erotic. Like you I'm not into sadomasochism either. I'm into the control-only aspect of it. And I prefer to be the submissive, although I can 'play' dominant quite well in role-play. I've considered these things for years, and what I've come to realize is that I prefer 'psychological submission'. In other words, I really enjoy being in a situation where the woman has the psychological upper hand. (i.e. has outsmarted me, won a bet, or won a game, or whatever, to gain control over me). I have no desire to be 'manhandled' by a woman. Or if she can just gain control over me through pure feminine seduction all the better. When I role-play dominant, I'm more into the physical domination. Not to mean that I like to get rough, but rather I'd just like to have the woman physically bound where I can do whatever I want and she can't stop me. I have no real sexual desire to be dominant, but I do find it to be somewhat erotic if the woman is enjoying being sexually tortured (in a good way) and unable to stop me. Speaking of pain. I'm not into masochism at all. I have run into this with female dominants. When trying to find a dominant female I try to explain my sexual desires and the fact that I'm not into pain. They often tell me that I'm not a 'True Sub' (ha ha) But in truth, all they really mean is that I'm not compatible with what they are seeking, and vice versa. I'm simply not seeking a sadistic woman who wants to take her sadism out on me. She needs to find a masochist for that. But that doesn't mean I don't want to surrender to the control of a non-sadistic woman. Control always needs to be tempered by compatibility. If the couple isn't compatible then they shouldn't be playing D/s games (or even a real relationship) at all. Seek compatibility FIRST, then take it from there. I'll be the first to confess that I'm not a "True Sub" to anyone who thinks that a "True Sub" should just be willing to do anything. If that's their "definition" of "True Sub", then all they are really doing is saying that they refuse to call someone a "True Sub" unless that person is compatible with their desires. (ha ha) I could turn that right back and around and say that for me a "True Dominant" is one who is compatible with my submissive desires. It's works both ways. In the end we are all seeking "Compatibility". There are no "True Dominants" and "True subs". All that exists are compatible people and incompatible people. That's my view for whatever it's worth. If you're interested in something different check out my blog Sensual Psychological Bondage
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2/14/2011 5:42 pm |
yes i agree D's is more submissin and dominance... thou i do agree with you, dominance/submission in the true sence involves disipline, of sum sort, it the submissive fail to please her Dom... do you agree..
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We actually think that discipline only has a place if it increases the desire in the sub. It is the subs desire that drives submission. We are interested in willing and enthusiatic surrender, so whatever works to do that is great, and all the rest is really quite pointless But thats just the wat we see things
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