Reset Password
Reset Link Sent
Blogs > Mygentlecaress > From The Urinal |
Bedtime Stories: Goldilocks And The Three Bears (From A Legal Perspective)
Bedtime Stories: Goldilocks And The Three Bears (From A Legal Perspective) Are you all tucked up comfortably boys and girls? Good, then let us begin shall we? This is the story of a family of three bears who lived in a small cottage, deep in the woods. Quite how three bears came to live in a cottage is very much open to debate (did they consume the previous owner?) but that is a matter for another time. Anyway, one day the three bears decide to go out for a walk whilst their porridge cools down (Holy shit! – These bastards can cook to?!) Off they go and all seems well….until that is, a sneaky little shit called Goldilocks turns up with decidedly felonious intent…. Straight off the bat, she commits the crime of unlawful entry, a charge alone that would likely see her way to a hefty fine and a possible custodial sentence (depending upon any prior convictions she may have held). But Goldilocks wasn’t about to call it a day there, oh no, for next she decides to help herself to the bear's porridge! The bloody cheek! – That right there is also technically an additional charge of theft and aggregating the two charges, she’s now likely facing at least a month in the slammer (and rightfully so!) Having sated her belly, she next turns her attentions to a somewhat less than professional critique of the bear’s interior design, namely their chairs. Sitting on the biggest bear's chair she bemoans it being too big so opts to sit her criminal arse on the baby bear's seat…..which she subsequently breaks. Yep, that’s criminal damage right there and she can fully expect a few months in the joint now. All this malicious and wanton criminal activity is clearly tiring work though and Goldilocks now decides to go for a sleep…..in the bears beds no less! I don’t know about the legal ramifications of this act but it sure as hell is bloody creepy if you ask me. A short while later the bears return and are dismayed to find their home having been violated and their property vandalised. Hearing some snoring upstairs they investigate to find the felon responsible fast asleep in the baby bears bed. [image] Unfortunately, before they can exact a well deserved revenge upon this miscreant bitch, she suddenly awakes and flees through the window however. Following the correct course of legal action, the bears hastily file a report to their local law enforcement who subsequently put out a warrant for her arrest. Goldilocks is subsequently apprehended but thanks to bleeding heart, liberal intervention, is allowed to issue a counter claim regarding personal injuries she sustained firstly from falling from the baby bear's chair and secondly from the minor glass induced lacerations she suffered from her escape through the window. The case continues….. The End. So....what is your verdict jurors? Hey, come and view my blog: mygentlecaress It's complete crap but come on over anyway |
|||
8/8/2012 9:15 am |
Hmmm she needs the book thrown at her, and her lawsuit should be denied with the bears doing a countersuit against it.
| ||
8/8/2012 11:03 am |
Well if she has big boobs and was showing them i am sure that is what she got off! The bears should never wake a sleeping goldilocks! Not a good idea!
| ||
|
lol I'll bet that her defence lawyer cited the violation of her intrinsic civil right to sleep Hey, come and view my blog: mygentlecaress It's complete crap but come on over anyway
| ||
|
Hmmm she needs the book thrown at her, and her lawsuit should be denied with the bears doing a countersuit against it. Hey, come and view my blog: mygentlecaress It's complete crap but come on over anyway
| ||
|
Well if she has big boobs and was showing them i am sure that is what she got off! The bears should never wake a sleeping goldilocks! Not a good idea! Hey, come and view my blog: mygentlecaress It's complete crap but come on over anyway
| ||
|
...And throw away the key to Hey, come and view my blog: mygentlecaress It's complete crap but come on over anyway
| ||
|
As long as I can tuck myself up in there with you... Hey, come and view my blog: mygentlecaress It's complete crap but come on over anyway
|
Become a member to create a blog