Reset Password
Reset Link Sent
Blogs > rwjj1965 > Mythical Beasts |
To apply or not to apply that is the question?
To apply or not to apply that is the question? For those of us who have daughters or nieces feel free to us this when she/they are old enough to begin the dating process. Between handing this out to every prospective beau and sitting on your front porch in a rockin' chair craddling a shotgun she should end up fine. I mean the only thing more intimidating would be handing out the application from the porch with the cocked shotgun across your lap wouldn't you agree? By the way has anybody ever been given or know somebody who was given an application to date a girl by the girl's parents? APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY NOTE:This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage, and current medical report from your doctor. NAME______________________________________ DATE OF BIRTH______________ HEIGHT____________ WEIGHT_____________ IQ__________ GPA_____________ SOCIAL SECURITY #___________________ DRIVERS LICENSE #________________ BOY SCOUT RANK AND BADGES______________________________________________ HOME ADDRESS__________________________ CITY/STATE___________ ZIP_____ Do you have ONE male and ONE female parent? ___________________________ If NO, please explain _________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ Number of years they have been married ________________________________ If less than your age, explain ________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ Do you own a van? _______________ A truck with oversized tires? _______________ A waterbed? _______________ A pickup with a mattress in the back? _______________ A condom? _______________ Pornography? _______________ Do you have earring, nose, tongue, or a belly button ring?_______________ A tattoo? _______________ (IF YES TO THE ABOVE, DISCONTINUE APPLICATION AND LEAVE PREMISES) In 50 words or less, what does LATE mean to you?_______________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ In 50 words or less, what does DON'T TOUCH MY , mean to you?__________________________________________ In 50 words or less, what does ABSTINENCE mean to you? ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ Church you attend ______________________________________________________ How often you attend ___________________________________________________ When would be the best time to interview your: father? _____________ mother? _____________ priest? _____________ Answer by filling in the blank. Please answer freely, all answers are confidential. A: If I were shot, the last place I would want shot would be: _____________________________________________________________________ B: If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my: _____________________________________________________________________ C: A woman's place is in the: _____________________________________________________________________ D: The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is: _____________________________________________________________________ E: When I first meet a girl, the thing I notice about her first is: _____________________________________________________________________ NOTE: if answer E begins with T, B, or A discontinue. Leaving premises keeping your head low and running in a serpentine fashion is advised. What do you want to do IF you grow up? ______________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ What is the current going rate of a hotel room? _____________________ I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE, RED HOT POKERS, AND HILLARY CLINTON KISS TORTURE. _______________________________________ Signature (that means sign your name moron) Thank you for your interest. Please allow four to six years for processing. You will be contacted in writing if you are approved. Please do not try to call or write (since you probably can't, and it would cause you injury) If your application is rejected, you will be notified by two gentleman wearing white ties carrying violin cases (you might watch your back). |
|||
2/15/2009 2:35 pm |
Interesting application. Would you apply? Smile, it just might make someone's day!
| ||
|
If you find a boy who is willing to fill this out..... you have a keeper and your daughter is lucky!!
|
Become a member to create a blog