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Blogs > SweetDarlinAngel > Angel's Secrets... |
Have You Ever...
Have You Ever... Have you ever had such a bad day, so stressful that your mind just totally began to breakdown by the end of it? My mind was on overload yesterday. Between my three littles losing their minds and going demolition on my house, and my dogs getting into two fights, my spouse calling almost every hour to "check in", and trying to get my house in order for this huge BBQ with almost 40 invitees on St Patrick's Day; I almost lost my baby at the store. We went to the Department Store last night to buy wall decals for the bathroom, decorations for the game room, and some odds and ends for the house that we needed since moving ing in. It was about 9:30pm by the time we made it to the framed art for the game room, and we still hadn't eaten dinner, the baby was in a shopping cart and had been so quiet and self entertained the entire time we were shopping. My 10 year old was the only other one home with us last night and we were browsing for pictures and talking to him about decoration for his room as well. I finally said it was late and we need to leave. I walked away from the pictures with our purchases in my hand and headed toward the registers. My and my spouse were deep in conversation behind me, we got to the check out lanes several hundred feet away and were in line for quite a few minutes, I reached into my purse to find my wallet to pay for our purchses when I realzed that we were missing our wall appliques. NOT THE BABY, the FUCKING DECORATIONS! and asked my where we left them. We stepped out of line to wait while my ran back to the bath section to find another set. It was then that a baby a few aisles away began to cry. My heart stopped. I looked to my spouse. I dropped my purse, everything in my hands and ran. Back to the art area as fast as could, crying, pushing people out of my way. My mind racing wondering if my five and half month old would still be there where I left him. What kind of mother am I? I got to the place where I left the cart and there he was, in the cart, giggling, tugging gleefully at the froggy toy daggling from his carrier and babbling to himself. Oblivious to the danger he was in for the last 15 minutes. Completely unaware that his mother abandoned him, carelessly, left him alone in the middle of a huge department store in a major city. He smiled at me, cooed a hello and kicked his feet happily. I sobbed. I have never been so careless with any other of mine. How could I have done that? What kind of mother have I become? I completely forgot about him. My mind absolutely spaced him. I cried myself to sleep last night. Alice kept telling me that every mother does something stupid with their once. Not me. I never have. I am ALWAYS so careful. What happened to me last night. How could I be so stupid? I'll never forgive myself for what I did to Jerome last night. I was petrified. I held him to me for so long. Apologized to my five month old for an hour. I am so guilt ridden today, I am sick to my stomach. She told me stories of things she or her family has done that wasn't always the most careful. Times she lost her , or others have done careless things with their . I never felt any better. Was it supposed to help? I don't know. Maybe I am too anal. Or maybe I really am becoming a horrid mother. I can't belive I did that to my baby! ~Angel |
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3/16/2007 6:33 am |
the baby is fine .as far as bad mom i doubt that,quit kickin your self and carry on. oh and tell the ole man your ready for a vactaion and a stiff drink! no more pitty partys for you . u gonna be fine . if ya ever need to chat look me up!
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You're not a horrid mother. You're just stressed, that's all.
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"Human" is not something I can risk being. I am a mother of four boys. I have to be able to think at the speed of light, jump at the drop of a hat, hear a needle fall from 10 houses away; and know exactly what they are thinking when their eyes twinkle with mischeif. On top of that, I have to be a soft should to cry on, a vaulted chamber of secrets to share with, the strongest woman they've ever met, the best cook, the softest touch, a healing kiss, and always make them feel like home. It is my job to provide total safety with my outstretched arms, and complete comfort against my chest. I am a mother. I am a mother of boys. I am their rock. I don't have room to be "human".
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the baby is fine .as far as bad mom i doubt that,quit kickin your self and carry on. oh and tell the ole man your ready for a vactaion and a stiff drink! no more pitty partys for you . u gonna be fine . if ya ever need to chat look me up!
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3/17/2007 2:00 am |
They say that mistakes are the best teacher. Please remember that tomorrow is a new day.
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They say that mistakes are the best teacher. Please remember that tomorrow is a new day.
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