4735 posts 12/23/2012 2:19 am
Last Read: 12/25/2013 3:49 am
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Santa's Naughty Helpers
I tell you ‒ Santa’s little elves Very rarely please themselves There’s nothing more an elf enjoys Than organising all those toys To bring delight to girls and boys. Yes, elves are virtuous, elves are good, The best in Santa’s neighbourhood. What point to write in poem or prose Christmas things the whole world knows? More interesting are Santa’s hoes.
It’s something Santa once told me, Christmas before two oh one three. I caught him then, when under stress, And plied with whisky did confess, I promised not to tell the press, Or Mrs Claus, who was unknowing Of dear Santa’s Christmas Ho-ing. But since I am a sly old dog The truth is here ‒ right in my blog, Recorded as my yuletide log.
“It’s so much stress!” I was told. “I’ve mid-life, Warm, I’m getting old. All this rushing, all this grief, Even Santa needs relief.” My jaw then dropped in disbelief. “Warm, my friend, in my employ Are three hoes for me to enjoy. I call them Ho Won, Too and Three, They’re all so very Christmassy And dedicated to please me.
Ho Won is such a slinky bitch I know she stays because I’m rich, But hey, she makes me feel less old, And wow! ‒ she warms me from the cold. She lets her Santa be quite bold. She’s got a fetish ‘bout my beard, With that she does things really weird. “If Santa’s cumming once a year, He’s gonna do it right in here!” Oh Ho Won, you are such a dear!
Ho Too’s from Shanghai ‒ she’s a treasure, Giving me such endless pleasure. Her pussy always tastes so sweet, My favourite Christmas dish to eat, Her oral skills are such a treat. Without Won Too I’d never know The pleasure of being teased real slow. Her body lithe, her breasts so pert, And jeez! can Ho Too really squirt! She really is my best dessert!
Ho Three’s the one who’s not Chinese, She’s buxom and knows how to please. Legend says in all the land She is the most skilled with her hand, And that just suits me mighty grand. And boy she’s fun when she lubes The deep cleft down between her boobs. The way that Ho Three will seduce And milk from me my Santa juice. I tell you, that girl’s hot and loose.”
It was just the other day Santa phoned me up to say He had been caught by Mrs Claus Under the tree with all three whores. He could explain. She said, “Of course. Did you think when you’re away Jet-setting off upon your sleigh, I’d just sit there among the toys, No ‒ Mrs Claus also employs Her own three hunky, sexy boys.”
And so it was…. Bells a-ringing…. Carols singing… That the Clauses Went a-swinging.
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81699 posts 10/10/2013 8:32 am |
Awesome with Xmas just right around the corner I am leaving you with this to think about hugs V
Become a blog watcher sweet_vm
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26383 posts 1/10/2013 12:18 pm |
lol that pic looks feastove ;p; yes i meant feast...stive though lol good to see you back....
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16552 posts 1/1/2013 4:04 pm |
Oh no you don't!
GET BACK HERE!
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4619 posts 12/27/2012 7:31 pm |
lol =) naughty Santa! I guess that's why he doesn't give away so much coal nowadays.. he's just given up and joined the naughty list!
"Do not put the key to your happiness in someone else's pocket" --Author Unknown
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13158 posts 12/24/2012 6:30 am |
Awww thanks!
Something about which I am staunch: Equality in all acts of raunch. Whatever act we choose to do, "What's fun for me is fun for you."
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13158 posts 12/24/2012 6:24 am |
Quoting justskin1: Now we know why Santa stays so jolly through all the Christmas stress.
Now the mystery is where does he get all that energy from?
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13158 posts 12/24/2012 6:22 am |
Quoting sexysixties2: Lovely Warm and put a much need smile on my face today. Merry Christmas.
Ho ho ho! Now we know why he says that so much! Freudian Santa, lol
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13158 posts 12/24/2012 6:21 am |
Lovely to be back
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13158 posts 12/24/2012 6:20 am |
Shameful and delicious Rhymes with Merry Christmas! Have a lovely one
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13158 posts 12/24/2012 6:18 am |
Glad to be back too. Where else would I get away with writing raunchy rhymes? Such great company.
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13175 posts 12/23/2012 1:23 pm |
Now we know why Santa stays so jolly through all the Christmas stress.
If you see me in the real world, come say "Hi Justskin."
I always behave. Preferably not well.
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39750 posts 12/23/2012 12:04 pm |
Lovely Warm and put a much need smile on my face today. Merry Christmas.
"Age does not protect you from love, but love, to some extent, protects you from age."
~~Anais Nin~~
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32404 posts 12/23/2012 9:39 am |
shameful and delicious
You cannot conceive the many without the one.
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13158 posts 12/23/2012 4:54 am |
Quoting goodatpoetry2: THAT'S... why I'm glad you're back!
And honestly, that girl looks so familiar. Is she someone kinda famous?
If she looks that familiar I promise NOT to tell Santa!
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13158 posts 12/23/2012 4:06 am |
Thank you Peter. May you have a wonderful Christmas.
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16552 posts 12/23/2012 4:02 am |
THAT'S... why I'm glad you're back!
And honestly, that girl looks so familiar. Is she someone kinda famous?
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