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Blogs > AK_Snowflake > Growing up Kelly |
Life does go on
Life does go on Jan 28 marked a year since K's passing. Last year at this time, I wondered if my heart would stop beating. How could a person survive that kind of heartbreak. I will not say the pain gets less. When I think of the situation, the pain I feel is the same as the minute I received the call about her passing. What does change is the ability to see past that moment. I have seen past the grief; it will never go away but I need to find a way to make her passing mean something. She would not understand or want the people she loved to wallow not matter how easy it is to do. She did not want to be known as the dying , she did not want to be the center of attention based on her illness. I choose to honor her by honoring her as a person. The baby girl who smiled all the time, the little fashionista, the bubbly of happiness, the sun we all gravitated to. M came came home Thursday for dinner. 3 hour drive to hug her mamma and celebrate K. There were no tears, there was laughter, closeness, and love. Good things are happening in her life. She is smiling more now, she is much more free with her emotions. I feel it is time to leave Alaska. I am starting with my solo vacation next month. I am going to Hawaii for 7 days. I plan to disconnect, I rented a place far off from the tourist but with a view of the ocean. I plan on hiking, laying on the beach, driving in a Jeep with the top off, turning off my phone, taking a real camera and listening to my inner voices. When I return, I am making my plans and putting them in motion. Will that mean changing careers, staying in the same field different location, selling everything and traveling? I don't know but something needs to change. |
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Sounds like some huge changes are coming - how exciting and scary! And good for you on the healing...yep, it will always hurt but I've always found that time allows me to focus more on the wonderful. Sounds like that's how it is working for you too! xoxo Always tell the truth Use kind words Keep your promises Giggle and laugh Be positive Love one another Always be grateful Forgiveness is mandatory Try new things Say please and thank you Say your prayers Smile ~Author unknown
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