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Another Crass Horoscopes, You Dirty Little Whores
Another Crass Horoscopes, You Dirty Little Whores What a month this is going to be. Usually I can keep my deadlines and appointments memorized, but with a roller coaster of trips to make, deadlines to meet, challenges to win and women to do I actually had to mark my Rat Rod Pin-ups calendar with almost every day this month filled with�something. I�ve taken on the roles of both art director and artist�which means I get to boss myself around and occasionally sexually harass myself in the workplace whenever the mood strikes me�barring that I wont slap myself with a formal sexual misconduct complaint that goes all the way up to Human Resources�which I�m also in charge of. This is precisely the reason why I may not get many chances to write this month�and this is also why I now have the word �� written backwards on my toilet seat. Confused yet? Well, yeah�me too. And while you�re scratching your head in puzzlement, leave a comment here and as always I�ll come back with your own personally demeaning horoscope. Its like a crass little gift from me. Doesn�t that make you smile? Aries March 21-April 20 Your girlfriend�s sudden interest in your favorite sport has nothing to do with the strategy of the game and your admiration for the home team as you would have hoped, but much to your dismay has everything to do with the size of most basketball player�s big black cocks. Taurus April 21-May 21 As events unfold this week you can�t help but relish in the irony when your nuts once again end up snared in a bear trap. Gemini May 22-June 21 You�ve always figured that you are full of self loathing but as it turns out you�re really only half full of self loathing and half full of triple layer fudge. Cancer June 22-July 23 There has been a glitch on this site lately where every time we log on we seem to have lost our watchers, but don�t get so smug about it. In your case it means people really do hate you. Leo July 24-August 23 You can either be part of the problem or part of the solution, but when all is said and done being part of the problem seemed a hell of a lot more fun. Virgo August 24-September 23 Try as you might to analyze and re-analyze what had gone wrong, what it really boils down to is you�re just a dumbass who tried to race a rocket powered toilet across the Bonneville salt flats. Libra September 24-October 23 You would have never have taught that chimpanzee sign language if you knew he would testify against you in court someday. Scorpio October 24-November 22 Everyone knows guys enjoy blowjobs and big tits but as you�ve never had an original thought in your tiny little head you�ll continue to post poll after ignorant poll on the subject anyway. Sagittarius November 23-December 21 Even after you plead your case to the grand jury your fate will still be ultimately determined by the number of dicks you can fit in your mouth. Capricorn December 22- January 20 Considering all the hard work you put into this, it�s really a shame that your decision to disobey spoken commands and take a dump wherever you please will forever disqualify you as a pedigree Westminster show dog. Aquarius January 21- February 19 With their keen eyesight, dexterous limbs, and uncanny ability to learn by watching, you always knew that the octopus could replace man as the next animal intelligence someday. Sill, it�ll surprise the hell out of you when one breaks into your garage and steals your car next Thursday. Pisces February 20-March 20 Cries of ecstasy and unbridled pleasure will fill your bedroom later this week, making you wish that was you your husband was nailing. |
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Leo July 24-August 23 You can either be part of the problem or part of the solution, but when all is said and done being part of the problem seemed a hell of a lot more fun. Sometimes a problem is only a problem temporarily -- goes up, comes down, goes up, comes down....
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5/1/2008 11:04 pm |
MMMMM.....triple layer fudge....... Didn't you tell me the whore story? Later! {=} ~~"I can scream as loud as your last one, but I can't claim innocence."~~
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Aquarius January 21- February 19 With their keen eyesight, dexterous limbs, and uncanny ability to learn by watching, you always knew that the octopus could replace man as the next animal intelligence someday. Sill, it’ll surprise the hell out of you when one breaks into your garage and steals your car next Thursday. now I could get kinky except that they are squishy and slimey....... oh wait.... maybe thats not so bad BUT.. they are aggressive and reactionary and have this nasty stuff they ejaculate.... . oh wait....... . . . . naaaaawwww only one eye and a craw type beak... talk about painful but stiilll....... all those suckers.... positioned just right ........hell I am sold on it could he bring a friend along? I am sooo bad... oh welll just read me the horoscope no more sea critters though!!!!! tender hugs...m.
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I, too, have tha word whore written backwards on the underside of my toilet seat. When I look down and see it reflected in the water...I know I can hold off on scrubbing the bowl for a few more weeks. Librarians uber alles. Uber alles in das welt. Mit glasses und hair in eine bun und die kleine skirtse und weisse bloussen. Most people are other people... FUCKING CHARACTER LIMIT!!! ~Oscar Wilde
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5/2/2008 9:02 pm |
Nah they don't hate me, they just hate it that I'm happy with my life and that I'm fully clothed in my pics. You know how it is on this site. The people with the most watchers are miserable and/or naked!
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Leo July 24-August 23 You can either be part of the problem or part of the solution, but when all is said and done being part of the problem seemed a hell of a lot more fun. Atomic, finally one that is perfect. Kisses love. BehindMyBlues
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Sagittarius November 23-December 21 Even after you plead your case to the grand jury your fate will still be ultimately determined by the number of dicks you can fit in your mouth. ... um is that before or after citrusy drinks? Age cannot wither her, nor custom stale Her infinite variety. Other women cloy The appetites they feed, but she makes hungry Where most she satisfies. For vilest things Become themselves in her, that the holy priests Bless her when she is riggish. ~~ from Antony & Cleopatra
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*sigh* I was so trying to convince myself it was a glitch.
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