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I must disagree with you strongly sir on what is or is not
I must disagree with you strongly sir on what is or is not If there's one thing I'm known for (and there's not) its certainly discussing news stories long after everyone else has lost interest in them . That way I tell my therapist that I'm participating in society even when I'm not - everyone wins when you lie to your therapist ! A young fellow named Justin Andrew Beieber hailing from Stratford , Ontario , Canada was recently filmed urinating with his penis into a mop bucket . This was a big deal for reasons that remain a mystery . I saw this "clip" several million times on the TV and I have no issue with it . What bothers me is when JAB , while micturiting into a mop bucket , turned to his manseverant and remarked "This is this shit right here ." Pardon me ? Pissing into a bucket is the shit ? I think not . I'm confident even the smelliest most deranged hobo doesn't get excited about pissing in a bucket . I am just an old man who blogs too much , I don't understand "slang" . If something is shit its bad but if its THE shit then its good ? That won't hunt monsignor . Nevertheless just because I don't understand the "youth" and their "culture" I feel I am perfectly capable of defining it . In order for something to be "the shit" it has to meet two criteria . A1 - It has to be a scenario brought about by your (or your agents) actions If you are at a "rad" party unless you planned said party or brought ice you cannot state that it is "the shit" because you had no part in it . They best you can do is say that it is "nectar ." If you fall asleep on your Brushed Canvas Sierra Red Buchanan Apartment Sofa while watching Primer and walk up to find that Garcelle Beauvais has sneaked into your house and is giving you a tender yet firmly authoritarian blowjob that is not "the shit" its merely serendipity . B2 - It has to be objectively perceptible by the senses through immediate experience , of or pertaining to the appearance of the world , as opposed to the ultimate nature of the world as it is in itself and highly extraordinary . Now , while pissing in a bucket meets the first criterion it by no measure meets the second . Now if your village is overrun by nucklavee and you convince the village from across the dell to switch with you on account of your fancy patter and your Flashdance ass pants that is objective "the shit" . Because not only do you not have to deal with what is considered to be the most horrible of Scottish elves (and we all know Scottish elves are the worst) anymore , not only do you get a whole new wardrobe , but the other village has a pool ! That is the shit Mr. Bieber . Please take note . In other outdated news a study "Perceived Weight Discrimination and Obesity" by Angelina R. Sutin & Antonio Terracciano indicates (in laypersons terms) "Making overweight or obese people feel bad about their bodies doesn’t do anything to motivate them to lose weight – actually , it does just the opposite ." Pardon my French but ; DUH Was there anyone in the known universe that thought "fat shaming" was going to make people lose weight ? There's nothing like low self esteem to make someone lose weight right ? Its things like this that make me realize that no one should be in charge of anything ever - everyone is too stupid . Everyone . I hereby submit a proposal for anarchy (in the UK) where destroy all technology , culture , animal domestication , stable agriculture , trade routes, division of labor , a special governing class , urbanism , transportation system , writing , standardized measurement , currency , contractual and tort-based legal systems , art , architecture , mathematics , scientific understanding , metallurgy , political structures , and organized religion to descent into a Hobbsian Bellum omnium contra omnes where we all just run around stabbing each other in the eyeballs with grilling forks for the last remaining supply of batteries . Will it be a better world ? No . But at least it will be good and earnest and true and people who believe insane things won't be making decisions for us . In other "news" I am told that history was made last night when two openly gay lady UFC fighters attacked one another for the enjoyment of a screaming crowd . I guess literally history was made since it had never happened before but I think we're using the term "making history" pretty thinly here . Technically I made history yesterday too when I saw a green truck get run off the highway and barely avoiding crashing into a construction crane in a fiery deathball and exclaimed "Sweet sassy molassy !" because I had never done that before . I'm all in favor of same sex/gay rights whatever but is one lesbian choking another on national TV really a step forward in any way ? I say not . Although it was "the shit" for the winning lesbian who's name I am told is Liz Carmouche which is a killer name . Hopefully no one is reading anymore because it time for the final shocking (yet boring) revelation . 7.3 months ago I mentioned (while I was talking about how I was boring in the sex dept) that I had three "fetishy" type things that I have never and will never act on but did exist , festering deep in the dark places of my mind quietly simmering is mental illness , as things I am "aroused" by . By which I am aroused I mean . First lets talk about the two that I already revealed . 1A - Pregnant ladies Apparently this is called maiesiophilia . According to "science" the reason behind this one is that it proves the woman is fertile and that's what your perverted DNA wants - continuation of the bloodline and all that<b> jazz . </font></b>For me its just the opposite though . I think I like pregnant women because I know they can't (well its highly unlikely) get double pregnant . I enjoy sex as much as the next dude (but not really) but there's always a part of my brain that's terrified about the potential repercussions . Such as horrible , horrible , procreation . With a lady who's already pregnant that part of my mind could finally be at peace and I could enjoy the experience fully . 2B - Aristocracy Apparently wanting to nail a queen or duchess or margravine is not common enough for there to be a standard "explanation" for it . For me the appeal is rooted in class warfare I suppose . As a poor dirt grubbing serf I like to idea of giving the high hard one to a fancy rich lady who's been invested by almighty god to rule over me . Vast tracts of land and hereditary titles are a turn on for me I guess . And I don't mean in a rapey way - like I bust in at the queen's jubilee and give it to her against her will while the gathered luminaries gasp and faint , nothing like that . Just that my sexual prowess and skill at lovemaking overcome the barriers of her gentle birth and reaffirm her belief in love . And now the third one , which I promised to reveal in 7.3 months 7.3 months ago (when I was sure no one would be reading this blog anymore) . The first two I have no issue with . The pregnancy thing is a little weird , but whatever , we're all god's . But this last one troubles me . It seems to have unsettling implications . 3C - Masks This is often part of S&M stuff , which I'll have to truck with myself , but I'm just talking about the desire to see a subject wearing a mask . Unimaginative called "mask fetishism" . Apparently diving masks is a common one , I guess dudes often get sexually aroused by videos of women diving or snorkeling . Gas masks are another common one , but for me its just "normal" lucha style wrestling mask - not the weird ones with zippers . The underpinnings of this one seem obvious - I want sex to be anonymous and joyless and I want to see my partner as less of a real person and more like a unfeeling toy for my sexual perversions . Which is a bummer . I don't like that explanation but I can think of no other . If you have any theories that don't make me a horrible human being please share them . And just to be clear , I don't know what you're into but I am not judging you . I'm sure its sick and twisted and you should be ashamed of yourself but I not judging you in any way . Freak . Putting first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first. |
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I hate to admit it, but the mask thing..... I can relate to. An old world Venetian style for women and for men.... Zorro (the Antonio Banderas version). Batman.... (the suit with the nipples version) would do in a pinch. Never really thought about slipping it to the queen... you really are a sick fuck
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what an interesting post....it's always interesting looking into different fetishes. i once had someone ask if he could shit on me and rub it all over me. blech! i might try something once..maybe..but definately not that!!! ..just join me on my blog bustybettyboop and still looking for some hot,sexy,creative contestants for my next contest...come join us! need a blog mentor or want to be one?
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It's well known that aristocratic ladies ("posh birds" or "snotty totty" as they are known in the UK) are filthy. Until they get married and start producing the next line of heirs, which is when they become their mothers and start making marmalade. Until they they discover that hubby is a repressed homosexual with no interest in fulfilling their sexual needs. As resentment builds eventually they either take to booze or inappropriate sexual adventures, or hopefully both
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